There’s an undeniable awesomeness that comes
with having a truly platonic male best friend.
Here are 14 reasons why a good boy friend beats
having a boyfriend:
1. He’s in it for the long haul.
What does the second “F” in BFF stand for? Oh
yeah, that’s right: forever.
Simply put, unlike a boyfriend, who could
potentially end things at any given moment, your
male best friend does not have the luxury of calling
it quits as soon as the going gets tough.
By the same token, neither do you. This forces you
guys to work things out.
2. He’ll honestly tell you what that dress looks
like on you.
Someone who is trying to get in your pants will
never be completely honest about how the pants
actually look on you.
Whether your a*s looks absolutely fantastic or like
a pancake, your male best friend has no reason to
lie to you.
3. You can order whatever you want at dinner.
As someone with a penchant for the finer things in
life, I often find dinner dates to be a bit of a
challenge.
I love to be wined and dined as much as the next
girl, but certain unavoidable limitations arise when
you know your date is paying for your meal.
Just to be clear, by “certain limitations,” I mean I
can’t order the $50 steak I want without looking like
a total
****.
If my best friend is paying for my meal, it is only
because I left my wallet at home and I’m paying for
his the next time we go out.
This leaves me with the freedom to devour my New
York Strip with a clear conscience.
4. You can be Disgust*ng in front of him.
Aside from the financial factor mentioned above,
there are certain images that go into my
“devouring” of a New York Strip that would
probably be a pretty ginormous deal-breaker for
most men interested in boinking me.
I could not care less whether or not my best friend
wants to boink me. In fact, I would prefer he didn’t
want to boink me at all.
With this understanding of mutual un-attraction,
we are free to do gross things, like burp and fart
and talk with our mouths filled to the brim.
In fact, we can, and often do, talk about pooping,
burping and farting while talking with our mouths
filled to the brim.
5. He genuinely likes you for your awesome
personality.
It’s not your awesome rack or fantastic smile that
interests him, it’s just you.
Your relationship with your guy best friend has an
inherent level of depth because it has nothing to do
with physical attraction or appearance. He
genuinely loves you because of your character.
6. You don’t have to force anything.
If your boyfriend is into indie rock, you’ll have to
give it a shot, even if it makes your ears feel like
they will start bleeding at any given moment.
You want to have things in common with your
significant other so you will try your best to make
things work.
Nine times out of 10, your guy best friend is your
best friend because the two of you already have a
ton of things in common.
There’s no need to impress him with a feigned
interest in the weird music you hate.
No need to engage in the world’s dumbest texting
conversations.
7. “Hey, how are you?” “Hey, what’s up?” “Hey,
how’s your day going?”
These are a few of the totally unnecessary bullsh*t
conversations we feel we need to have when we
are in relationships.
There’s no need for your best friend to text you,
“Hey, how’s your day going?” because if you haven’t
contacted him, odds are, things are fine.
Texting is only reserved for inside jokes and
making plans for the immediate future (i.e. “Get up,
let’s get breakfast” as opposed to “Hey! Are you
gonna be free to maybe get dinner at this new
place in Greenwich next Friday?”).
8. You don’t have to worry about annoying him.
If your boyfriend doesn’t respond to a “get up, let’s
get breakfast” text, you might hesitate to call him
37 times and finally resolve to show up at his front
door to physically wake him up yourself for fear
that he might think you’re crazy and obsessed with
him and be left with no choice but to dump you.
As mentioned earlier, your best friend does not
have the luxury of dumping you when you annoy
the sh*t out of him.
He knows you are not crazy (and if you are, he
loves you for it) and, although he might be a little
peeved after the 37th phone call, he has no real
choice but to make fun of you for being a psycho
stalker and get over it.
9. You don’t have to buy him gifts for random
bullsh*t holidays.
From Valentine’s Day to the one-month anniversary
of the day you started dating to the four-month
anniversary of the day you first kissed to the five-
month anniversary of the day you first met,
relationships are filled with plenty of bullsh*t
holidays for which you are forced to come up with
sweet, thoughtful gifts.
There is one holiday that forces you to buy a gift
for your male best friend, and that is his birthday.
No need to slave over a cute little scrapbook or
heartfelt letter; just buy him a gift card or a bottle
of his favorite liquor and you should be good to go.
10. You can take him home to your parents
without it being a big deal.
Despite being extremely close to my family, I am
yet to invite one boy with whom I have been
romantically involved to meet them for fear that he
would automatically a$$ume I am deeply in love
with him and want to get married tomorrow.
On the other hand, my closest guy friends have all
been over to my house a million times and my
mom definitely likes a few of them more than she
likes me. There’s no pressure when they meet her.
There was no reading into why I invited them over,
so we were just able to hang out and have fun.
11. He listens.
No matter how much your boyfriend loves you to
pieces, there are certain times when his focus will
fall back on how nice your rack looks.
As mentioned earlier, your male best friend is not
interested in your rack. This gives him no choice
but to listen to what you have to say.
Not to mention, he genuinely loves your
personality so much that he’s probably interested
in what you have to say.
12. He brings no drama into your life.
“I love him so much it hurts.” “I don’t think I love
him enough.” “I think he’s cheat*ng on me.” “He
hasn’t talked to me in two days.” “He got a job in ….
and I want to stay in …”
Even the best romantic relationships come with
their fair share of drama. If anything, your
relationship with your guy best friend serves as a
safe haven from all the other drama in your life.
Without any games, ulterior motives or heightened
emotions, you guys are free to be totally honest
and call each other out on your bullsh*t.
13. You really can just watch a movie with him.
In the dating world, “watch a movie” is code for, at
the very least, a
**** snuggle sesh. This can be
so cute and so fun, but problems start arising
when I’m interested in the movie and I can’t focus
with your hand sensually rubbing my upper thigh.
“Watch a movie” takes on a whole new meaning
when it involves my male best friend, as I can pick
a movie I want to see and, get this, see it.
Furthermore, I can do it in the comfort of my
ugliest sweats and both my retainers in without any
sort of sensual thigh rubbing to distract me.
14. You never have to feel self-conscious about
your body.
No matter how confident we are with our bodies,
we all have those “f*ck! I forgot to shave!” and “ugh
please don’t touch me there” moments when with
our significant others.
Your best friendship, free from any sort of physical
attraction to begin with, automatically marks all of
these insecurities as null and void.
-informationng