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Author Topic: Guy Shares His Experience With Weed [Igbo]  (Read 122 times)

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Offline smartoo

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Guy Shares His Experience With Weed [Igbo]
« on: December 05, 2013, 08:54:13 pm »
I had just moved out of my parents house
and was sharing a room with my "friend". I
had no idea he smoked weed, despite his
suspicious movements and signature weed
scent (abi na odour?).
Barely two weeks after moving in with him,
my worst fears were confirmed as he
started bringing home his weed smoking
buddies and they would occasionally roll a
wrap and smoke it right there in the room
or mix the weed with beans or spaghetti.
Being a very curious person I always
wondered what made them happy after
smoking, so I decided to find out for myself
(wrong move).
It was a very hot day in February, a Saturday
I think it was, my friend was out as usual. I
searched everywhere for his stash but
couldn't find it so I decided to go and get
mine.
I arrived the weed joint all sweaty and
nervous, half expecting to get mugged but
nobody seemed to be aware of my presence
there, they were all on different planets all
expect one I concluded that he must be the
seller so I approached him and the following
conversation ensued:
Me: how far?
Weed seller: I dey
Me: I wan buy weed
Weed seller: how many parcel?
Me: parcel ke? Iro oo, na just small i need
Weed seller: laughs really hard. bolo leleyi
sha (meaning this guy is a dunce oo)
Apparently, a parcel of weed is that small
wrap, I didn't know that. I thought it was
something very large.
I gave him 1000naira and he gave me a tiny
wrap of weed with a white paper, I was
surprised when he gave me 950 as change.
I couldn't believe weed was that cheap.
On my way home, I decided not to smoke it
but mix it with beans because I thought that
it will be better that way (another wrong
move).
Long story short, I cooked beans and added
the whole weed, ate it and called my friend, I
told him ogbeni, I just ate weed oo and
nothing happened to me this one that you
people will eat and be feeling funky, I don
chop am oo. My friend was like, ehen you be
strong man oo.
I decided to take a quick nap before doing
laundry, I woke up about 20 minutes later
on the floor, I was banging my head on the
floor, and I couldn't stop, my heart beat was
so audible and fast, everything was extra
bright and extra loud.
After a few minutes of head banging, I was
able to get up from the floor, I felt as if I had
just gained access to a part of my mind that
I never knew existed previously.
It was scary and cool at the same time. I
could feel the blood flowing in my veins (you
have to experience it to believe it. Though I
strongly advise against it). I felt so
uncomfortable in the room, it felt like I was
in an oven.
Suddenly, a voice in my head wisphered
ogbeni bo aso e joor (off your clothes), I
obeyed. The voice came again oya sa re
(now run). That was when I realized that the
weed had taken effect, so I decided to take
a shower to see if it will calm me down, but
the water felt so hot on my skin so hot I ran
out of the bathroom.
I called my friend to see if he could help me
make sense of what was going on but he
laughed at me, he asked me the quantity of
weed I took and I told him I used a whole
parcel, he said guyyyyy you don eff up! If
you no sleep in the next 30mins, you go
mad oo. Go chemist make you go explain
yourself.
By this time things had escalated, I had a
severe itch at the back of my head that
wouldn't go away no matter how hard I
scratched and I was convinced that the
beating in my chest was an evil spirit that
could only be killed with a punch.
I ran to my neighbor - Champion and told
him, Champion e jo e fun mi lese laya
(champion pls punch me in the chest). ti e
ba gbami lese laya mo ma ku oo (if you
don't punch me I will die oo).
He hissed and walked out having had
enough of such nonsense from the boys in
the boys quarters.
The voice in my head came again - iwo na o
de gba ara e lese laya abi o ti fe ku ni (why
don't you punch yourself in the chest or do
you want to die?) I punched and punched
but there was no difference.
The house was getting hotter, the voice in
my head was getting louder, the itch in my
head was getting worse, and the evil spirit
in my chest was getting louder.
Then came the voice again - oya ma sare lo
(start running). So I started running but on
getting outside in the sun, I felt so cold I
was shivering but that didn't stop me from
running (I would have given Usain Bolt a
run for his money on that day).
On getting to the chemist, i realized I was
bare footed, I told him I had a severe
headache I needed something to make me
sleep immediately. He gave me the drug and
I chewed it right there in his presence.
Next I asked him to give me a drug for evil
spirit, that was when he realized something
was wrong with me and chased me out.
I got back home and tried to sleep but my
heart beat wouldn't let me, so I ran back out
this time around to a nurse in the area, first
thing she asked was - kilode o wo bata ni?
(why don't you have your shoes on?
I told her Jackie Chan ti gba bata lowo mi
(Jackie Chan collected my shoes). I was
finally able to explain my situation to her
and she took me in, tied something around
my elbow and injected me directly in the
vein.
I passed out immediately only to wake
around 1 or 2am in the middle of the night
with the worst kind of hunger I have ever
felt in my life. I ate a whole loaf of butter
field bread in one sitting without butter or
tea.
I came home to a hero's welcome, my friend
told me e be like say your head no carry am
but e go better make you try am once more
so you go dey use to it.
The following day while the house was
empty, I packed my Ghana must go and like
the prodigal son in the bible I went back
home to my parents.
It's been a few years since that experience
but the lesson I learnt is an unforgettable
one. My curiosity hasn't gotten me in trouble
again and my circle of friends have since
changed.
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Offline Billionc

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Re: Guy Shares His Experience With Weed [Igbo]
« Reply #1 on: December 06, 2013, 08:03:01 am »
Very funny bt educative nd cautious

 

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