What happened when the turkey got into a fight?
He got the stuffing knocked out of him!
If you want to play with your family at home then get the Wii U.
If you want to play with your friends around the world then get the XBOX One.
If you want to play by yourself then get the PS4.
What does a nosey pepper do?
Gets jalapeno business!
H.A.T.E.R.S = Having Anger Towards Everyone Reaching Success
P.I.G. = Pretty Insensitive Guy/Girl
why are iPhone chargers not called Apple Juice?
Life is s( o )( o ) much funnier when you have a dirty mind.
Son: "Mom can I get twenty bucks"
Mom: Does it look like I am made of money
Son: "Well isn't that what M.O.M stands for?"
Did you hear about the Italian chef that died?
He pasta way.
We cannoli do so much.
His legacy will become a pizza history.
Why did the hipster burn his tongue?
Because he ate his food before it was cool.
What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree?
Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job!
Police Officer: "How high are you?"
Stoner: "No officer, it's "Hi, How are you?"
I love Pandas, they're so chill. They're like "Dude, racism is stupid. I'm White, Black, and Asian....."
A lady was looking for a turkey but couldn't find one big enough.
She asked the stock boy "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied "No they're dead."