1. “My goals and dreams can wait.”
To accomplish great things, you must not
only act, but also dream, not only plan, but
also believe. Be a dreamer, a believer, and a
courageous and cheerful thinker. Be a
positive motivator, a productive doer, and a
go-getter who keeps her head in the clouds
and her feet on the ground. Let the spirit of
passion and possibility ignite a fire within
you to do something worthwhile today, and
don’t forget to spread your enthusiasm to
those around you.
There’s no excuse for being an amateur
forever. Life is short. The day is rapidly
approaching when the risk to remain
perched in your nest is far more detrimental
than the risk it takes to fly. Fly! Spread your
wings. Start now. What a disgrace it would
be for you to grow old without ever seeing
the beauty and strength of your full
potential.
Be bold enough to use your voice, brave
enough to listen to your heart, and strong
enough to live the life you’ve always
imagined. And remember, people are going
to talk regardless of what you do or how
well you do it. So worry about yourself
before you worry about what others think.
2. “I don’t have a choice.”
William James once said, “When you have a
choice to make and you don’t make it, that
in itself is a choice.” Nothing could be closer
to the truth.
Ultimately, life has no meaning; you have a
meaning and you bring it to life. It is a waste
to always be questioning yourself when you
are the answer. Until you can look at
yourself in the mirror and honestly say, “I
have a choice. I am here now because of the
choices I’ve made in the past,” you will never
be able to say, “I choose differently.”
You’re choosing, all day, every day. If you’re
struggling at a job you don’t love, look at it
this way: you’re choosing to make a living to
pay your mortgage, support your family, and
fuel your dreams. Don’t resist it; own it –
that’s where your power is. If you’re in a
relationship that’s causing you pain, you’re
choosing to be in it. Maybe staying will lead
to essential growth or a breakthrough or a
deeper understanding of love. Or not. But
you’re choosing to be in or out, right now.
Whichever you choose, own it – that’s
where your power is. (Angel and I discuss
this in more detail in the “Happiness”
chapter of1,000 Little Things Happy,
Successful People Do Differently
.)
3. “They are probably right, so I must be
wrong.”
Don’t allow others to confuse you. Don’t let
them convince your heart what is right for
you. Your heart already knows. Listen to it.
Don’t let anyone dilute the power of your
inner voice. You’ve got to stand up for
something specific, on your own two feet,
or you will achieve nothing worthwhile in
your own mind. Within you there is
formidable and undeniable sense of
purpose. Happiness comes from making a
solid and persistent connection to that
purpose. When your intentions are
supported by a “why” that has meaning,
you will find the “how” to bring them to life.
Bottom line: What’s right for you may be
wrong for others, and vice versa. The truth
is that the world isn’t really as it is, but as we
see it. And we all see it differently.So don’t
be scared to step out of line. It’s OK to go off
the beaten path, as long as you know why
going a different way is right for you. Some
people may resent the freedom that you
create in your life when you choose to be
true to yourself. If you come across these
people, ignore them and carry on.
4. “This sucks.”
The worst obstacle in life is a bad attitude.
Remember, it’s not what happens to you,
but how you respond to what happens to
you. You can’t let one bad moment spoil a
bunch of good ones. Don’t let the silly little
dramas of each day get you down. Smile,
even when it feels like things are falling
apart. Smiling doesn’t always mean you’re
happy; sometimes it just means you’re
strong.
Likewise, do not let the negative opinions of
others derail you. Throughout your life you
will meet two kinds of people: those who
are a drain on your energy and try to derail
your dreams, and those who give you the
energy to pursue your dreams. Ignore the
first kind and cherish the second. People
that doubt, judge, and disrespect you are
not worth your time and attention. (Read
The Four Agreements .)
5. “I hate you.”
As Martin Luther King Jr. so profoundly said,
“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only
light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate;
only love can do that.” Truth be told, when
we harbor feelings of hate, it eventually gets
the best of us. Everything and everyone you
hate rents permanent space in both your
head and heart. So if you want to eliminate
something or someone from your mind,
don’t hate. Instead, disconnect yourself,
move on, and don’t look back.
And remember that getting even doesn’t
help you get ahead. You will never get ahead
of anyone as long as you try to get even
with them. Sometimes we don’t forgive
people because they deserve it; we forgive
them because they need it, because we
need it, and because we cannot move
forward without it. To forgive is to
rediscover the inner peace and purpose that
at first you thought someone took away
when they betrayed you.
6. “I can’t.”
Yes you CAN! Stop stressing over what could
have been, because the chances are if it
should have been, it would have been. You
may feel discouraged. You may feel upset.
You may feel too old. You may be sick. You
may be divorced. You may be unemployed.
You may be financially strapped. You may
be… etc. But you’re not dead – YOU ARE
ALIVE. Your journey is far from over.
Forget about how you thought things were
supposed to be. Just because some things
didn’t work out as you had expected, or
didn’t happen as fast as you thought they
would, is no excuse to give up on yourself.
Time passes one way or the other. Do what
you need to do so that, at the very least, you
can look back someday and say, “I gave life
my best shot.” (ReadYou Can Heal Your
Life .)
7. “I missed my chance.”
Nothing is permanent in this crazy world,
not even your mistakes, failures, or troubles.
So laugh at the confusion, live consciously in
the moment, and enjoy your life as it
unfolds. You might not be exactly where you
had intended to go, but you are precisely
where you need to be to take the next best
step forward.
As Maria Robinson once said, “Nobody can
go back and start a new beginning, but
anyone can start today and make a new
ending.” This is your life; shape it, or
someone else will try for you. Strength
shows not only in the ability to hold on, but
in the ability to start over when you must. It
is never too late to become what you might
have been. Keep learning, adapting, and
growing. You may not be there yet, but you
are closer than you were yesterday.
8. “Never mind… it’s not important…”
A great deal of unhappiness comes into the
world because of confusion, bewilderment,
and things left unsaid. Many times in life I’ve
regretted the things I’ve said without
thinking. But I’ve never regretted the things
I said nearly as much as the words I’ve left
unspoken.
Speak up. Don’t hide your thoughts and
feelings, especially when you can make a
difference. Be brave. Say what needs to be
said. When you don’t communicate
effectively with those around you, there’s a
lot of important stuff that ends up not
getting said and a lot of beautiful emotion
that ends up not being felt. There’s no
greater sadness than holding on to the
words you never had the courage to speak.