"Idjut! Jesus Christ of Nazareth will weep for you today!"
Nigerian people act as if Child Protective Services (CPS) does not exist. Bad news, in America, it does. Kids these days don’t get the good ole beatings aka Detty (Dirty) Slaps like back in the day. These were accompanied by redundant sayings like, “Keep crying and I will give you something to cry about” and threats to be sent back to Nigeria. These beatings were much anticipated because most of them were a life threatening countdown to a beating… “I will kill you if you are not here by the time I reach three …. Wán (One), two, three… c’mon now give me that belt”. I say belt here but Nigerians are accustomed to getting beat by a list of other things from extension cords, switches and shoes to anything in arms length. In fact, there were countless nights when mischievous children had the honor of fetching their own switch from the tree to enjoy a well deserved beating.
Some beatings are understandable like bad marks in school and misbehavior, but what about those times a child received heavy slap for not greeting a guy that comes over and eats all the food in the house, for handing elders something with the left hand (even though right hand was full of stuff to serve other elders), or chewing gum in church or while praying.
"You Stupid Child Of God! Why Are You CRYING?!?!"
Don’t assume that beatings are restricted to just parents or guardians. Acting up in a classroom back in Nigeria is an invitation to get slashes embedded into your back in front of the whole class by your teacher.
Keep crying until you develop tears of blood, yelp and breath as you much want as if you have asthma, you can even play dead and pretend to be sleep but you’ll just be wasting your time. No dey search and try find sympathy, the thing no go get you anywhere with Naija parents, no say if person get body, person for just stand by for the beating wey you no go forget.